Let's Talk About Self-Regulation with Karen Braun
Self-regulation is the ability to control one's emotions, thoughts, and actions. It's a critical life skill that impacts every aspect of a person's wellbeing, including their academic success. Self-regulated learners are able to set goals and stick to them, stay focused and on task, manage their time wisely, and cope with stress and setbacks in a healthy way. As you can imagine, these skills are essential for success in the classroom and in life.
Karen Braun is joining me on this episode to talk about self-regulation and how that impacts learners in the classroom and at home.
Karen Braun is an Inclusive Education Specialist for Palliser School Division. She has been a teacher since 1983 and began working with students with behavioural and mental health challenges in 1990. This has been her passion ever since.
After working for a number of years within the constructs of more traditional approaches, Karen knew that there were any things that didn’t line up with what she believed in her heart. This started her on a journey of exploration and learning. As part of this journey, she found some excellent research by Dr. Stuart Shanker, the founder of The Mehrit Centre who echoed what she believed, “There is no such thing as a bad kid!” Karen loves to share and teach on regulation, trauma, behaviour strategies, collaborative problem solving and all things inclusive education.
Hanna:
Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the My Literacy Space podcast. Today, I'm talking with my friend, Karen Brown. How are you, Karen?
Karen:
Great. Thanks. How are you?
Hanna:
I'm good. I'm so glad you are able to take some time with me today. We are going to be talking about self-regulation and how that impacts learners in the classroom, but also kids at home before they even arrive to a learning environment. So, I wanted to start with a quote that is from the Self-Reg book by Dr. Stuart Shanker, and he's talking about the five domains that we experience stress. He says, "Because self-regulation involves multiple dimensions, it is a dynamic system, which means that anything that happens in one part of the system affects the other parts in ways that may stabilize or destabilize the whole." I kind of thought if we started there, it gives us a little bit of a sneak peek about why self-regulation is so important when we're talking about the connection with literacy. So, what is self-regulation?
Karen:
Well, if you were to look it up on the computer, I think Stuart had somebody do that once you could find many definitions. But the definition that I go with is kind of following Stuart's Self-Reg, is that the ability for us to be calm, alert and learning. Okay. So, being self-regulated to some people mean self-control, and that's not it. It's not about self-control. And I like to think about the brain. Do you mind if I dive into the brain?
Hanna:
Absolutely, love it. Yep. Love it.
Karen:
I don't know if you've ever seen Dan Siegel's hand model of the brain?
Hanna:
Yeah.
Karen:
I quite often use that. So, if you are thinking of your hand and you have to make sure when you tell this to kids, because I do teach it to kids. I believe we need to teach our kids about their brain, because that is in fact what's impacting everything, and how can they learn to read or how can they learn to do anything without their brain. And yet, we keep it some deep, dark secret that we don't talk about with them, right? So, I do like to teach them about the brain and I have them hold their hand, their fist. And I say, "This is a model. It's not really your brain," Because I have had some kids say, "My brain's in my hand?" No, no.
Karen:
So, you have them hold it with their knuckles looking out from their face, and that's about the size of their brain. But if you look at it, the part where their wrist is and the bottom of their hand, that is like... We talk about that being the brain stem, and that's all their automatic nervous system things. And I teach them that's what keeps you alive. That keeps your heart beating. That keeps you breathing.
Karen:
And then, the part that we tuck in when we make the fist, that's our limbic system, or what we call it in Shanker's Self-Reg, our Red Brain, because that is where all our emotions are. Now, we tend to talk about those as negative, but our good emotions are there too. So, we can't forget that when we teach them about that. And then, all that other stuff on the outside is the thinking part of our brain.
Karen:
But what many people forget? And it's not just with kids. I'm talking about it with kids because I'm a teacher, but all of us, is that when we are stressed, we flip our lid and those fingers that are curled around your thumb come up as you talk about it with kids. But the truth is that limbic system is our alarm, and it sends signals to that brain stem, and what that does is it says there's danger. For instance, if you're walking in the woods and you hear a low growl or what you perceive as a low growl, your Red Brain will take over. It will send the alarm to your brain stem, and it will do some really amazing things. It will turn off your digestion after all. If you haven't digested your dinner and you're about to be eaten by a bear, the bear can just digest it for you.
Karen:
[inaudible 00:04:19] but it also gives you a shot of adrenaline so you can run, but amazing things. When you're in that red state, you can't hear high sounds as well. Why is that? Well, because most of our predators are bigger than us. So, they tend to have a lower sound, right? So, why am I telling you this all about education or reading or learning or anything, is that we are more often than we know in that red state where our thinking brain isn't online. You are not going to, while you're in the woods, hearing a low growl, think now what are my options? Let's make a pros and cons list. I think, well, let me think about that. It's [inaudible 00:05:05], right? So, you are responding.
Karen:
Well, you also aren't going to learn something. You aren't going to stop and say, "Oh, can you just teach me about this?" You're not available for learning at that point. You're thinking part of your brain is offline and not completely. This is, of course, a metaphor. But it's important to know that, because for any of our kids, and it could be major things like trauma and we deal with a lot of kids with trauma, or it could just be as simple as your pants are too tight. And that's all you can think about. I don't know why I would think of that example, but that's all you can think about. You can't focus on what the teacher's saying. Or for some of our kids who have focus problems, the kid clicking their pen next to them may be just as loud as the teacher's voice.
Hanna:
Right. Right. So that-
Karen:
I kind of went off the definition of self-regulation.
Hanna:
No, but I think that analogy is so helpful for kids. And if we are good at explaining that as adults, we kind of can make a connection with kids, because we can say, "Guess what? I do the same thing. My brain does the same thing when maybe I'm hungry. Maybe if I didn't get a good night's sleep last night, my brain feels the similar way." And so-
Karen:
Or somebody said something to you and upset you. And so, it's not just kids that feel that. I love it when adults say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I missed what you said, because my head was stuck thinking about something else," so that kids can see that.
Hanna:
Right. Right. And it's really normalized the way that we kind of function in the world, the way that everything is input and output, this is what is coming in for me just as much as it's coming in for a six or seven year old or 12 year old, whatever. I think when we think of words to use with kids, but when you're talking about that scary situation or just an irritable situation, we have that fight-fright-flight-freeze, all those kinds of things happen where you see it happen, you see it kind of explored in a different way. It comes out in different way.
Karen:
Yeah. That's really important, Hanna, because you might see a kid sitting really quiet and they might be looking very obedient. But do you know where their brain is? And you might not. I mean, you can't always tell, because they can be... You have these kids who are obedient looking. They're doing what we think of as a good student, sitting there, and they-
Hanna:
They look like they're attending. [inaudible 00:07:45].
Karen:
Yeah. But we don't know that for sure. So, that state of freeze is one that we often miss. It is one that you will see a very quiet child, and they might miss a lot of what you're saying. Or you'll see that really restless child, and we tend to pay attention to the restless ones. Why? Because they disrupt or because-
Hanna:
The squeaky wheel.
Karen:
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. But that doesn't mean that we aren't seeing it with others.
Hanna:
Right. I like this point right here, and I want to pause. So, when we're thinking about they're exhibiting something, I think a lot of times that's labeled as behavior, and yes, it is, because all of us have behavior the way that we act in the world. But I think then there's maybe a misunderstanding or a misuse of a word where we're calling it bad behavior or good behavior. Or we kind of think of it in terms of that black and white. And I love thinking about it more in terms of what happened just moments before, right?
Karen:
Hanna, my number one thing is always say, "Why? Why am I seeing this behavior?" All behavior is communication, whether it's good or bad. It is. And it's communicating. The kids might not know why either, but it's our opportunity to be a detective, and to figure out the why. Why am I seeing that behavior? Why is Johnny sitting there looking at me, but not taking it in? Why is Billy swirling on his seat instead of attending to what's going on? And there are so many things.
Karen:
One of Shanker's expressions that is my all time favorite, because it's what I believed in my heart. And the first time I heard Shanker say it, I was like, "Okay. I now know I have the words for all these things I've been thinking," but there's no such thing as a bad child. We have to remember that. Just like, I don't get up and go to work and think, "I'm going to do a bad job at work today." They don't come to school or they don't sit down to do homework with you thinking, "I'm going to be a little rotter today. I'm going to make your life miserable." If they're making your life miserable, the question has to be why. What's happening for this little person next?
Hanna:
Right. So, in Stuart Shanker's book, and I know that you and I have talked about this before too, just identifying and helping kids identify what area is causing them stress and looking at those signs of stress.
Karen:
Right.
Hanna:
So, let's talk a little bit about those. He talks about them as domains.
Karen:
Domains, and we do talk about five domains, and I think they're really important. As a matter of fact, I've put together that for you, that talks about addressing those different domains in some ways. What are some ways that we can address those different domains? You might find that there's problems in one area or many. And sometimes, we don't know. But let me quickly go through what they are. Just so that...
Karen:
The most obvious one that people think of is the physical, and that can be environment as well. So, physically, there could be a discomfort on them or they might feel, those kids who really need to be touching or doing something, or it might be that sounds are really bothering you, or that lights are really bothering you. But it also could be that your chair's uncomfortable, your shoes don't fit properly, the kids around you are bugging you. If you're somebody who's irritated by somebody chewing, for instance, that sound could be... You might not be able to even hear what is being said. So, all those physical things are really important. But sometimes we get stuck on those, so I want to talk about the other four domains a little bit more.
Hanna:
When I talk about these with my students, I'll say something like, "I'm going to give you an example of myself." And I love to kind of show them how real we are as humans. And I will say, "I love reading. You know I love reading. But as soon as I get into a car, I get motion sick and I start to get a really bad headache. Especially if I'm in the back seat, or if I'm riding on an airplane, or if I'm on a bus or something, and it's moving backwards, it's really bad. All of a sudden I cannot read. I can't think. I don't even want to have a conversation, because I'm so focused on my stomach feeling so icky, my ears kind of are ringing, my head is pounding, the lights are bothering me, and it's a whole physical reaction to motion." And I give kids like... I mean, that's maybe an extreme. Maybe not everyone feels at that extreme, but motion sickness for me is a big part of traveling.
Karen:
You and me have that [inaudible 00:13:00]. We are the ones who have to sit in the front of the car. Put the window down. Yeah. So, that's a really good point, and I love giving examples, because it really helps them to understand. Teach your kids these and use these words. Don't be afraid of using the technical words. Even for little... I remember once a little kid in Dawn's class who said, "Ms. Deboine, my amygdala keeps firing and firing and firing." So, the kid was getting it.
Karen:
Cognitive stress. Now, cognitive stress can be a lot of things. It can be that you have a learning disability, and that's not because you are dumb, which is what quickly kids will label themselves as. But you learn in a different way and that's all right. There's always a way around it. But it also could be that, cognitively, your brain is being taken up with worrying about, is your puppy going to be alive when you get home because he's sick, or all those sorts of things.
Karen:
Then, there's the emotional domain. The emotional domain is huge. It covers anything that will be impacting emotions, and it could be good emotions. You could be very excited for your birthday party coming up. But those emotion domains can cause stress, and what happens with each of these things is they cause stress. Stress is what really triggers our inability to be calm and focused and learning.
Karen:
Oh, social stress. And so, I'm going to also talk about prosocial stress because they're related, they're quite different, but they're related. Prosocial stress is for yourself. So, when I walk into the room and I think nobody likes me, or why is that kid talking, I'm sure they're talking about me, or I must be stupid, and so nobody's going to talk to me, or any of those sorts of things. That can be social stress. Adults will relate to this. If they might be somebody who goes into a party and thinks, "Oh dear, I don't know what I'm going to talk about," or, "I don't know anybody, how am I going to cope?"
Hanna:
How will I fit in? Yeah. A lot of it is like, "How will I fit in? Will I say the right thing? Do I look the right way? Will I appear to be this way?" Everybody's like... We want that best foot forward. But a lot of times, we feel like we're not putting our best foot forward. Socially, there can be a lot of that social anxiety for many people.
Karen:
There's a hidden curriculum. And for lots of kids, I teach them about the hidden curriculum.
Hanna:
Love that.
Karen:
That is the expected behaviors. But you know that some kids don't pick up on those, that hidden curriculum, those expected behaviors. When you walk into a room and it's dead silent, and you can feel a bit a tension, you just don't go in and go, "Hi. Did you know what I did today?" Some people, not just kids, don't read that very well. But if you did come in and do that, everybody would look at you like, "What are you doing?" Because-
Hanna:
It's so unexpected. Yeah.
Karen:
So unexpected, exactly. And so, prosocial is when you're worried about other things, and it could be worrying about war in Ukraine. Don't kid yourself, many kids right now will be worried about war in Ukraine. They will also be worried about maybe Susie next to them didn't have lunch. There are many other things we worry about. Many things that are social in nature, but are about other people. So, those five domains. All those things cause stress, and what I was going to get back to when you talked about that first thing, because you were talking about this thing bothers you and that things bothers you. I look at it like this.
Karen:
We have a finite amount of stress that we're able to deal with. Let's say this is my window of tolerance, this bottle. Right now, it's half full. Maybe I started the day empty, but sometimes I start the day half full, because I came and I got up this morning and I hadn't slept very well. My foot hurts, and I couldn't get my hair to go the way I wanted, and I didn't have time for a proper breakfast. So, already, I'm coming to you before I'm going to learn, and my stress is half full. But then you walk into the class and somebody's whispering and you assume it's about yo, so you fill it up a little bit further. And then, we're starting with math and it's your worst subject. So, you're filling it up a little bit further. Well, by the time you might come and say to a student we're going to read, and they see the first word and they can't read it, and you might see a blow up and you are thinking, "Oh my goodness, what did I do?" You did nothing.
Hanna:
Or I shut down. A complete and utter shutdown.
Karen:
Or a complete shut down.
Hanna:
Right. Yeah. Like a total frozen in spot. Yeah.
Karen:
Or a quiet tear trickles down. What it could be is that they've filled their window of tolerance, and they don't have it anymore. And so, what do we do? And that's really the whole point of this. We can look at all the whys, but unless we figure out what to do about it, we're really in trouble.
Hanna:
Yeah, for sure. We're talking about those stressors and the signs of stress, but what do we do then? We're talking about the why. We now kind of can identify those five domains, but what do we do once we've identified some of it? Whether it's within ourselves or take a couple of minutes in a setting to say like, "Okay, I see that you're feeling this way, can we talk a little bit about it, and then maybe identify, this is really frustrating." So, there's our cognitive domain coming in, right? Or they [inaudible 00:19:30].
Karen:
Or they're frustrated, but now, what do I do? I mean, we really want to get us back to a state of calm. Now, often, people nowadays don't know what calm feels like. Society's [inaudible 00:19:46].
Hanna:
[inaudible 00:19:46] truth. That is so true. Yeah.
Karen:
So, our first thing is to make sure we know what calm feels like, and our kids know what calm feels like. That's much bigger than just one area in everything we do with them. So, there are so many different things, but, again, we can look at the domains and talk about how we find calming those different domains. And we can find different ways to do that.
Karen:
I've made you a couple of handouts that have lots of ideas, but let's look at the physical domain. We don't have time to go through all kinds of ways, but you want to be creative. Don't always think that because sitting is a problem for him, that changing the way he sits is necessarily the answer, right?
Hanna:
Yep.
Karen:
So, it could be, you have to try, try, try, try until you find the right thing. You have to say to the kid, "Oh, does that work for you?" For instance, we teach about fidget tools. Now, I call them fidget tools. Well, if we say fidget toys, we're denoting something different. Now, I personally have a rule that I don't use fidget toys, anything that looks like a toy. So, I don't use balls with them, not because they might not work, but for some of them, the temptation's just too great to use it like a ball.
Hanna:
Exactly.
Karen:
If you want a really good YouTube on how to use fidget tools, Kristin Wiens has one. It's put out by Long StoryShortz. It ends with a Z. Called fidget tools. She talks about how to use them, and why to use them, and how they need to be subtle and quiet. The video's for kids, but I share it with teachers and parents alike, because it really helps you to choose good fidget tools. But it's important that you talk with them, and I let kids try them and see if it helps or not. You might use something simple, like just putting a piece of Velcro on the bottom of their desk that they can rub their thumb on. Or we might put theraband around the legs of their desk so they can push hard against.
Karen:
If you talk to an OT, they will have a myriad of suggestions. Heavy work, all those things can help with the physical domain. Alternative seating. We get really stuck with them sitting quietly in their desk to read. But some kids read best standing, pedaling on a bike.
Hanna:
Right. I've been talking with a couple of friends too about the whole body listening and how that just doesn't work. It really just teaches kids that the only kind and space that you can learn is in this little tiny box, and it's every time we have to reset that, it's resetting and it's upsetting everything that's going along. Where lots of us, I don't sit still. I tuck in my foot underneath my leg. I might fiddle with a pen. We're doing things [inaudible 00:22:46].
Karen:
I suspect that everybody listening to the podcast is driving, is taking a puzzle, walking. There are many things. I listen better doing that. If you asked me to just sit still, then my mind's going to wander. So, we have to be aware of that. There's that whole physical domain. But there are so many other things we can do. We can teach them to quiet their minds, that doing some mindfulness, lots of wonderful mindfulness things that are available for kids. Yoga is great. You do the yoga stretches, as we call them at school. And we teach them how that helps their body. Breathing. Teaching some kids, belly breathing is the best thing you can do. And there's so many...
Karen:
If they're young, I teach them, sniff the flower, blow out the candle. If they're older, I teach them 4-7-8 breathing, because there's some really good research that if you train your body to do 4-7-8 breathing, you practice it, so you breathe in for four, hold for seven, exhale for eight. And people say, "Well, how fast do you go? How fast does your body tell you to go?" And then, as you do it, as you practice it more, you actually can start to calm your body faster. Because as soon as you start the pattern, your body knows what-
Hanna:
It recognizes it. Yeah.
Karen:
Yeah. Yeah. So, those are all really great ways of doing it. You also might... Some people might find trying, going for a walk, photography. Thousands and thousands of ideas of what will work. But if I want to teach somebody a really important skill, so we're about to start King E. That's a big skill. I'm not going in there while they're feeling restless, while they're still talking about their birthday party, while Jimmy and Fred are having an argument on the carpet. I want them calm, alert, and ready to learn.
Karen:
Now, what calm looks like for you might not be what it looks like for me. That's important to know. It's really important that we recognize that each kid's got an individual way of looking calm, and that they need to identify what that feels like. What does that feel like in my body? What does that look like? And then, when you say to them, "Are you ready to learn?" Then, that is what they should feel like.
Hanna:
Yeah. Yeah. I want to talk about... That was a great example, so we're going to teach that King Ed, that silent E rule. We're noticing that there's something going on. We feel a different energy from lots of kids, and we're trying to get them to those sort of a similar energy where they can, right, be alert and ready for learning. What are we thinking about then those quiet corners? Because I love having that spot. I think it's the way that we phrase it, the way that we teach it, the way that we're not sending them as if that's like a... The calm down corner always for me, and that was maybe because that was my childhood.
Hanna:
If you experienced any emotion, you went like that was a punishment. Go calm down in your room. Even if I was, whatever feeling, instead of validating the emotion, walking through the emotion, talking about it and allowing somebody to feel that emotion, and then moving on. So, I love that idea, but how can we make that work so that children begin to understand that they can just go to a spot, whatever that might be in the learning space.
Karen:
Well, I think, first, we do it all together. You do it with them. And so, lots of times I see people do a movement break. Now, a movement break is great, but sometimes, it can actually wind them up. So, do the hip movement break, do the heavy muscle. I hate to say this. I'm not a big fan of... Oh dear, the name's gone out in my head. But the videos that get them really going and do a dance with rank. I find that if it's teacher led, the movement breaks tend to be more personal and tend to be less overstimulating. So, I've given lots of ideas on that sheet, but wall pushups or those kinds of things. Some kids will be stimulated by that. And now, they're ready to [inaudible 00:27:28].
Hanna:
[inaudible 00:27:28] full alert.
Karen:
I don't have time to learn. You just talk to me about moving. It's okay. Then, I do some mindfulness or some breathing or something, and then, we talk about it. Why did we do that? What did that do? And where's our focus can be? The other thing is I use brain breaks. Brain breaks are ones where we are engaging the prefrontal cortex. Now, why do we do that? Well, because if I'm stuck in some emotional state, let's say, I'm worried about if there's going to be food when I get home, or I'm worried or I'm excited because I've got my birthday party, coming back to that example, I can't start thinking about something else. But if I give them an activity that engages the prefrontal cortex, but it could be fun, then you are engaging them, and then, that's the time to teach them. So, I actually have made for you a sheet of literacy brain breaks.
Hanna:
Amazing. Love it.
Karen:
Because you can use a brain break. You can take those ones I've made and change them to math or change to whatever you want. Because what you want, there are lots of little things you can do. One of the things, and this doesn't have anything to do with literacy or anything, but you want them to do some movement, what that crosses the midline. That is a proven way to engage your prefrontal cortex. So, I do this simple game where I say to them, put your right hand on your right nose. And they always say to me, "Mrs. Brown, I only have one nose." Yes, I know. So, you put your right hand on your nose, you put your left hand across and hold your right ear. Then, you tap your hands and then you put your left hand on your nose, your right hand on your ear. Then, they see how fast they can get.
Karen:
Of course, they think that's hilariously funny, but what I've done is I've engaged their prefrontal cortex. You cannot be thinking of what you're going to eat for dinner and doing this exercise. My favorite is to teach it to adults and watch them go to work, because they're worse at it than the kids. It's very entertaining. But I also have... Let's say we're sitting in the living room and I want to read with my kid but he's restless. I might say, "Okay, we're going on a treasure hunt. I'm going to call out a sound, and you have to go touch something that starts with that sound, or whatever their level is. If you're doing rhyming words or if you're doing more advanced vocabulary, you can give them a word and they have to find an example of it, and they have to run to it and do it. So, you work on that kind of thing to engage the prefrontal cortex, and then, you present the new material. Does that make sense?
Hanna:
Totally, and I love that. Because I was just doing a little webinar for Scholars' Choice the other day, and we were talking about read aloud tips. The most common question I get is like, "My kid doesn't sit still for 15 or 20 minutes to read a book." And I keep saying, "When did we ever have to sit still for 15, 20 minutes to read?" They could be drawing while you're reading, or they could be coloring. They could be doing a puzzle. They could be building with Lego. They could be doing something. Or pick those interactive books that have them engaged in like... There's one called Press Here, and on every single page, it's talking about different things and they have to act it out or they're doing it. I even said, if you're reading a book about firefighters, have them act out the book. They're kind of role playing. They talk about winding up the hoses. Let's pretend we're winding up the hose. Way more than, yes, you're doing a read aloud and there's all that vocabulary building that you're doing, but they're making it more meaningful as well because they're doing it.
Karen:
Absolutely. For older students, you could encourage them to identify with one character story and either sketch things about it. Or start listing characteristics of that kid, so you could make a script about it afterwards. And full disclosure, during the first few months of COVID, when we went fully online for school, I was in a lot of Zoom meetings. I made a lot of jigsaw puzzles during that time, because people would be talking, and I'd find myself thinking, "Oh, I should go change the laundry." And I'm like, "Oh, I'm at work."
Hanna:
I need a second.
Karen:
I can't do that. But so, if I do that, and you see it. Unless we are being entertained, none of us sit really for long periods and just listen anymore. I mean, I do it in the car, but I have to. And actually that's a great place for kids to listen to books too.
Hanna:
Yes.
Karen:
[inaudible 00:32:06].
Hanna:
Yep. That's a great point. Okay. So, what are some key concepts then? Because I'm really also... I think some of maybe the domains, we maybe understand them a bit more or they seem more obvious. I think one of the ones that we don't pay a lot of attention to, and I'm not saying everybody, but in general, is the social and those prosocial domains. I think that when we think about social and emotional learning and development, and how kids need to be aware of our own motivations and our own behaviors, but looking at facial features and body language and the tone of somebody's voice, those are certain ways. Right. Yeah. The hidden curriculum. I love that you called it that. I think that's a really big way that we can support kids as well, because we're getting them to the point where they understand and they have a language for describing how they're feeling.
Hanna:
I know one of the ways that I've done it with kids too, is let's draw our body. We'll trace their body on a big piece of paper, the butcher paper. And then, we start to kind of, in a group or one-on-one, talk about where in your body do you feel certain emotions, so I will say [inaudible 00:33:17].
Karen:
I do this with kids a lot.
Hanna:
So I will say, where would you feel anger? And it's so fascinating to listen to a group of kids describe it. Everybody will have a different thing where they feel anger.
Karen:
With older kids, I make a gingerbread man. And I give them different color stickers. When they put down the sticker for one color, we'd choose for red for anger, and one color we would choose for fear, or that sort of stuff. We need to, this is my opinion, we need to broaden our kids emotion vocabulary. I would meet with junior high students, I [inaudible 00:33:57] you to do this and ask them to list emotions words. And they can come up with happy, sad, glad, mad kind of thing. That's where it ends. So, I Google the Emotion Wheel of... His name is Plutchik. I can't remember it right off the top of my head. Sorry.
Hanna:
We'll link all of this in the show notes. So whatever [inaudible 00:34:21].
Karen:
Yeah. Thank you. I use it all the time. But it's great, because what it does is it'll give the basic emotion, and then, go on. There's great activities you can do with older kids to help them. And you try to get them to rank, quarter them. It's great during the discussion.
Hanna:
I've often done that with paint chips from a hardware store. I will get red, and then, we will say, "Okay, so you're just a little frustrated." [inaudible 00:34:49]. That might be on the lightish shade.
Karen:
If you look at Emotions Wheel, that's what it looks like.
Hanna:
Right. I call it shades of meaning, and that's another way that people have talked about it as well.
Karen:
So, what we're talking about is social thinking. I use a lot of the social thinking material. If you look at social thinking, there's these 10 concepts that are really all that. One of them is thinking with your eyes, clicking around, reading the... It's not just reading the room, reading the person, those sorts of things. We have to explicitly teach that.
Hanna:
I agree.
Karen:
So, we read a book, but we're going to read the people too.
Hanna:
Yep. Yep. I love that. Okay. I know we could keep going. And maybe, we'll do a part two, one day, because I think that this is... We have to get these kinds of understandings for the adults that are working with kids, and the kids... But even parents, I think this is really important for parents listening to this, because-
Karen:
You've just changed my parenting.
Hanna:
I feel the same way. I feel like me being able to identify it, just... People aren't having to sort of inference how I'm feeling. I can just say, "I'm actually really frustrated, and I'll give you a little blurb of why." And now, I feel kind of a little bit lighter, because I've said... And you've been able to listen and say, "That is really frustrating." So, I think maybe that would be another part two, is just like, how do we communicate it and how do we respond when kids then talk about their emotions and the situation that's going on. Okay. So, we are going to put all of these little hints and tips and all the things that you've created. I really appreciate you spending the time with me today. So, we will talk soon. Thanks for coming.
Karen:
Thank you very much.
Connect with Karen:
Facebook - Karen Vanderleest Braun
Twitter - @TchrKaren
Instagram - selfreggerkaren
Download Karen’s Resources
Videos mentioned in the episode:
Wheel of Emotions
https://www.6seconds.org/2022/03/13/plutchik-wheel-emotions/
Hand-Brain Model
Long StoryShortz
Books mentioned in the episode:
Shanker, Stuart - Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You)
Amazon Canada link https://amzn.to/3yI89kF
Amazon US link https://amzn.to/3llN2wO
Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life
Amazon Canada link https://amzn.to/3PEoLjx
Amazon US link https://amzn.to/3sHghy6
Gates, Miriam and Hinder, Sarah Jane - Good Morning Yoga: A Pose-by-Pose Wake Up Story
Amazon Canada link https://amzn.to/3wmOLbu
Amazon US link https://amzn.to/3sJ95l8
Hanh, Thich Nhat - A Handful of Quiet: Happiness in Four Pebbles
Amazon Canada link https://amzn.to/37YIZU4
Amazon US link https://amzn.to/3wlLUzi
Sladkey, David - Energizing Brain Breaks (Also YouTube channel)
Amazon Canada link https://amzn.to/3wl3aoj
Amazon US link https://amzn.to/3yO6PNn
Winner, Michelle Garci and Crooke, Pamela - You are a Social Detective! Explaining Social Thinking to Kids (they have a whole range of great products)
Amazon Canada link https://amzn.to/3sDGAoY
Amazon US link https://amzn.to/3MnvNHl